I thought we’d go out of chapter order for this Thursday thought and draw from the very last chapter in Instructing a Child’s Heart. The chapter is entitled “The Centrality of the Gospel” and builds very helpfully on what we talked about in our recent six14 meeting. I would strongly encourage every parent to read (and re-read) this chapter until you master its content for your own gospel-centered discipleship of your youth/child.
The opening illustration is telling, isn’t it! The father becomes exasperated with his teen, lectures his son for a few minutes, and concludes with the Nike slogan: “Just do it!” It’s so easy to promote the Nike version of parenting and discipleship. Their behavior needs to change, so we exhort them to change it. “Just do it,” we tell them in effect. Certainly it’s true; they do need to change (repent) when they are sinning. The question this chapter raises is how we are pointing them to change. How will they pursue change/growth/discipleship? What is the pathway of change we’re setting before them?
The Nike approach points them to their own will-power and strength, which will (sooner or later) result in either self-righteousness (if they’re successful in changing to some degree) or discouragement (if they’re not). The good news of our Savior provides a far superior and far more powerful (and God-glorifying) ‘how’ to which to point them. And this chapter unpacks some very helpful details of that ‘how’ – they are…
- Cleansing/forgiveness – the good news that “Christ paid the penalty for sins and forgiveness is offered on the basis of payment” (p. 184).
- Internal change – “Only grace can change the heart… God gives a new heart – a heart of flesh (referring to Ezek. 36.26)” (p. 184).
- Empowerment – “It is not enough for us to know what we ought to do. God has promised power to enable us to do it (Ezek. 36.27)” (p. 184).
The Tripps then comment: “Everything we need from God is here – cleansing, forgiveness, radical internal change, and empowerment… If we are going to amaze them with grace, these truths must be before them at all times” (p. 185). And the effect of keeping these truths before them will be genuine, biblically-based, Christ-centered hope for change. This is far better than the Nike approach, for this approach brings glory to the Savior as it calls us rejoice in and rely on the His finished work! It also results in real and lasting change. There is nothing superficial about the change the gospel brings about; it is internal, grace-motivated, and filled with joy.
The Tripps go on (in a statement underlined, starred and bracketed in my book), “One of the important reasons to emphasize grace is that it is a motive to godliness. As our children see, believe, and embrace the grace of the gospel they are motivated to grow and change” (p. 186, emphasis added). We can be tempted to think: “if I focus them on grace, they won’t be compelled to change,” when the exact opposite should be the result. The gospel, faithfully and effectively applied, results in more motivation to repent, grow, and become more and more like the Savior who purchased us!
They conclude that statement saying, “Our task is to hold up before them the goodness, grace, kindness, mercy and love of God.” So the question we, as parents, need to ask is: how consistently and how clearly am I holding up “the goodness, grace, kindness, mercy and love of God” as supremely displayed in the cross of Christ? Here’s the best way to know: ask your youth for their evaluation. Ask, “What do I make you more aware of: the Savior’s forgiveness and power to help you obey, or your requirement (which is real) to obey?” Where the gospel can be held up more clearly and consistently, we have something to look forward to – both in our lives and in the lives of our youth!
But – one last thought – don’t forget that the same good news applies to us as parents! There is cleansing, forgiveness, and empowerment for this holy task. Let none of us wallow in self-pity or discouragement for our failures in this regard. Let us instead apply the gospel and be motivated by God’s saving and transforming grace ourselves!
-Tab
