Discipline to Disciple – that’s how I would sum up what we see in chapter 6 of Instructing a Child’s Heart (“The Sowing and Reaping Principle of Scripture”), and it provides a helpful balance to the previous chapter on the heart. The Tripps anticipate how we might misunderstand or misapply the teaching on the heart saying: “You might ask then, ‘What role do consequences have in this process? Can I shepherd my child’s heart and still have consequences for behavior? …If the heart is the battleground, then why would I correct external behavior?’” (p. 64). Great questions… and a helpful chapter as a result!
The bottom line involves, as they show us, seeing that appropriate consequences are biblical and necessary and in no way contradict our pursuit of our children’s/youth’s hearts. The Tripps put it well when they say, “Parents, as tangible representatives of God’s authority, must understand and practice biblical consequences rather than the rewards and punishments of behaviorism. The sowing and reaping principle shows the way” (p. 67). In other words, our children and youth learn a vital lesson about God’s authority through our loving, biblical exercise of authority, as they are taught that “God will not be mocked. A man will reap what he sows” (Gal. 6.7).
They go on to show us two types of consequences: natural consequences and consequences shaped by authorities. It’s through that latter type that our children/youth learn that vital lesson about God’s authority through us. It’s really just recognizing that Ephesians 6.4 still applies, isn’t it! Ephesians 6.4 calls us to “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord,” and the discipline of the Lord will necessarily involve appropriate consequences. But this is discipline to disciple, and that’s the key distinction in my mind. Our aim is to disciple – to train them to know and follow the Savior. The Tripps put it like this: “Consequences must be logical – connected as closely as possible to what has gone wrong. Consequences should truly serve the goals of discipline and correction – to disciple” (p. 71).
They go on to describe the spiritual dimensions under-girding this reality: sowing and reaping. I won’t recap all those dimensions but, needless to say, they were a great reminder to me that I’m always sowing and reaping in my own life! And our children are always sowing and reaping in their own lives, so we must have and teach what they call a “harvest mindset” (that’s worth remembering!). Let me allow them to say it in their own words: “God has so ordained life that there are outcomes that are inevitable. You must learn to live and train your children to live with a ‘harvest mindset.’ They are always sowing and always reaping. This process happens scores of times each day. What children plant today will be harvested tomorrow. ‘Tomorrow’ may be measured by moments or years, but it will come” (p. 66, emphasis added).
Here’s a possible take-away: Consider where your child/youth would most benefit from understanding this principle. Is it in the amount of their media time (video games, etc.) in which this ‘harvest mindset’ might serve them? Is it in how they are relating to your authority? Is it in how they are relating to siblings, or how they view the local church, or how they are currently serving in the church? For that area, review and apply the content of this chapter with them. Then, may the harvest they enjoy be sweet, by God’s powerful grace!
-Tab
