Thursday Thought for Parents (7.31)

Hi, fellow parents.  I hope you’re doing well and enjoying the grace of our God! I also hope that you’re enjoying Instructing a Child’s Heart as much as I am. There certainly is a lot of biblical and practical wisdom packed into various sections!

We’re venturing into part 2 of the book, beginning with chapter 4. While I benefited from chapter 4 (especially Mr. Tripp’s compelling example of helping his children visualize, and thus more greatly appreciate, the trust of David facing Goliath, as well as the faith of Abraham and Sarah launching off into the unknown), I found his introduction to part 2 (on p. 45) even more enlightening.

In the second paragraph of that introduction, the Tripps describe how “formative instruction provides biblical ways for children to think about themselves and their world.” Then they give the example of teaching our children not to hit each other.  (Not that any children ever hit each other in the Trainor household – that’s not happened in a good, oh… 12 hours or so!)  In the example of teaching them to not hit others, he reminds us to teach in a formative way, such that they don’t hear, “It is not nice,” but instead hear biblical and theological reasons like: “We teach them that others are made in God’s image. Other children have value and dignity.” I think it’s a great and very practical example of providing the biblical ‘why’ for our instruction, and not just giving them the Nike approach (“Just do it!”).

Then, in following up on that example, the last paragraph on p. 45 is, I think, worthy of review: “We must think of ourselves as salespeople for truth. Every experience and every conversation is an opportunity to persuade our children of the beauty and symmetry of God’s ways. As children mature, our goal is not to maintain control at any cost; it is rather to persuade. Influence and persuasion are always more important than discipline” (emphasis added).

Certainly he’s not minimizing the appropriateness of biblical discipline, but he is very helpfully highlighting the importance of our ability to influence and persuade our children with truth from God’s word. Oh, that I would increasingly think of myself as a salesman for truth… one who loves the truth fervently, and who graciously, consistently, and effectively wins the affections of my children for and with the truth.

Consider re-reading (or reading for the first time) these brief but profound thoughts on p. 45 and consider how they apply to your parenting at present. Talk with your spouse (and those in your care group) about how you can sell truth as you influence and persuade your children.

With you in this holy task of parenting -

Tab

Serving at six14 Meetings

Hello, parents and youth -

I had a great meeting with our Youth Admin Team on Sunday; all of us were very excited for what God is going to be doing in our midst in the coming months!  Please know that you can play vital roles in our six14 corporate meetings, in areas like: greeting (see Mr. and Mrs. Mertens), set-up/sound (see Mr. Pronovost and/or Mr. Dennis), or refreshments/drinks (see Mr. Wiersema).  I look forward to introducing the whole Youth Admin Team to you in our first meeting!

I also wanted you to be aware that we would like our singing times to be, as much as possible, led by our youth.  Geoff Dennis is kindly going to bring his oversight and care to our music this year, for which I am most grateful (thank you, Mr. Dennis, so very much!!).  I would lend my formidable musical gifts to this effort (I did play the recorder in the 3rd grade, and from what I recall, could play a mean rendition of “Mary Had a Little Lamb”), but we want the youth in our midst to be using their gifts and making their own invaluable contribution to our meetings!  If you are a youth and can play an instrument or sing (better than Mr. Trainor, which probably all of you can) and you would have interest in serving in this way, please contact Mr. Dennis.  We can’t guarantee that everyone who has interest will be able to serve regularly in this way, but we certainly want to hear from you if you do have interest.

As I told our Admin Team on Sunday, all of this is really in preparation for the transfer that God desires (and we desire) to take place in our midst in the coming years.  That is a transfer of more and more of our young people taking their place in this church, making their invaluable contribution to this church, and through this church reaching their generation in this community with the gospel of Jesus Christ for years and years to come – to the glory of our Savior!

So, let the transfer begin, and let us know how you’d like to serve!!!

Thanks so very much!

- Tab

Thursday Thought for Parents (7.24)

Hi, fellow parents! This week, we’re up to chapter 3 in Instructing a Child’s Heart. In this chapter, “The Call to Formative Instruction,” we’re reminded how important this kind of instruction that forms our children really is (note the poignant example of Israel by comparing Joshua 24.15-18 with Judges 2.10).

The first point that was underlined, starred and bracketed in my book (I like to mark things up as I read!) was the comment where the Tripps say, “The primary place for children to receive formative instruction is in the home. Sunday school, VBS, Christian summer camp, Christian school, or even your church’s youth programs cannot replace the family. The home is the place where we present a culture that is distinctly Christian” (p. 35). To that I say a hearty, “Amen!” We in no way want to displace the vital role of the family (especially parents) in the instruction and discipleship of your children. Our job, as we see it, is to support you, the parents, as your child’s/teen’s primary means of discipleship.

The Tripps then remind us of the call to formative instruction from Deuteronomy 6; I won’t reproduce the passage here, but I thought it was helpful how they sought to apply that call to instruction to the various facets of life mentioned in that passage… from ‘when you sit at home’ (formal times – see post on 7.10 for some ideas there), to ‘lying down’ and ‘as you walk along the road’ (e.g., as you drive along in the van!). Here’s a way to benefit from this chapter: consider just one context you regularly have with your child/teen and how you might better seize that as a time of instruction. For me, I thought about seizing my drive times with the kids more effectively to do what the Tripps recommend: “Inquire about things you know this child is excited about or struggling with. If you have no idea, ask.” What great advice – I hope to apply it!

But, lastly, don’t miss the hopeful note on which the chapter ends. They write: “Ultimately, our hope is not that we will get it perfectly right. We, like our children, are part of a fallen race. Each day provides fresh reminders of our failures and need for grace. Our hope as we instruct our children is that the gospel is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes (Rom 1.16). …Our hope is that the gospel will be the power of God to salvation in their lives as it has been in ours” (p. 43). And, once again, I say, “Amen!”

Grateful for you!

-Tab

Cultivating Biblical Womanhood

Hi, parents and youth! Something I hope to see us cultivate in increasing measure in our youth is an understanding of and love for biblical masculinity and femininity. Our youth are (and will be) swimming against the tide of our culture as they embrace what Scripture teaches about manhood and womanhood. To that end, I thought the GirlTalk blog had some very helpful recommendations recently. (By the way, this blog written by Carolyn Mahaney and her daughters is a great resource for biblical femininity, ladies. I’d encourage you to benefit from it personally and with your daughter on a regular basis.)

The topic was homemaking, which is a biblical calling as Titus 2 informs us. In that passage, God calls older women to train younger women “to be… working at home… that the word of God may not be reviled” (Titus 2.5). This is certainly not the only calling women can and will have on their lives, but it is a high and holy calling nonetheless. Moms, let me encourage you to make this important area a regular part of your discussions with your daughters, that they might grow up with a God-glorifying love for this holy calling. You can find a great list of resources on homemaking over at GirlTalk.

If you want to know where to begin, I would go to the last two resources they mention; here they are, in their own words…

In Girl Talk: Mother-Daughter Conversations on Biblical Womanhood we devoted two chapters to a young woman’s training as a homemaker.

And finally, last, but certainly not least, my personal favorite is still chapter six of Feminine Appeal: “The Honor of Working at Home”

Grateful for grace and for you!!

-Tab

Thursday Thought for Parents (7.17)

Hi friends! We’re up to chapter 2 in Instructing a Child’s Heart: “Five Goals for Formative Instruction.” The five goals the Tripps mention are:

• Remember Scripture is our personal history
• Develop godly habits
• Apply Scripture to life
• Model spiritual vitality
• Grow into a mature relationship with your children

All five are helpful, but I want to draw a line connecting the first and third goals. I think we could re-title the first goal as “Scripture is Christ’s Personal History,” as the Tripps helpfully point out: “Christ is the heart of the Scriptures. He is there as the creative Word in Genesis, and as the exalted Savior in Revelation.” The point is a crucial one: the gospel is the heart of the Bible’s message. The Bible isn’t mainly moral instruction – though it certainly is that – since Jesus and His finished work on our behalf provide the center-point of God’s written revelation.

They go on to say in the third goal: “Everyday life affords scores of opportunities to connect Scripture to life – from lost book-bags to broken friendships and poor test grades. Scores of training opportunities evaporate without notice as we hurry through our days thinking that devotional time with our children is enough.” So what’s the connection between the two goals? I think it’s this: the gospel is at the heart of God’s word, so our children must be shown how to connect the gospel with their daily experience.

In other words, how could the love and sovereign mercy of God displayed in the gospel help them deal with the disappointment of the lost book-bag? How might they know God’s empowering grace and “walk worthy of the gospel” as it relates to a poor test grade? When they are sinned against, how does the work of Christ speak to that experience and call them to respond? When they endure a serious sickness, how can the Savior and what He has done provide comfort and assure faith?

It seems to me that a central task of the Christian parent is to equip their child/youth to see how the gospel should function for them. I don’t want my children to think that the gospel is just my ticket to heaven, with no empowerment or application beyond that. Instead, I want them to see that the good news of our Savior is the center-point of Scripture and their interpretive lens for all of life.

If I could prioritize this list of goals, that’s what I would put at the top: make gospel connections for them in as many ways as possible, as often as possible.

-Tab

High School Growth Group

This is a context for high school youth and parents to gather one Saturday morning per month with two specific goals in mind: doctrinal formation and accelerated spiritual growth. Personally, my desire and prayer is that the youth of this church complete their high school years well grounded in biblical truth and earnest in their pursuit of and love for the Savior. So, my hope is that we can simply support you, the parents, in your discipleship of your youth in those crucial areas.

Those who would like to come will be asked to read various doctrinal and spiritually practical materials. Then, when we meet, I’ll highlight and reinforce key elements of what we read and have time to interact about those items. In addition, we’ll seek to cultivate our spiritual lives through Scripture memory and the spurring of each other on in the spiritual disciplines – particularly prayer and the intake of God’s word. I would also like to discuss practical discipleship scenarios that you and your youth face, that we might think those through together from a biblical perspective.

Please know that you are under no obligation to participate, but I am excited about the potential fruit this could bear! If you have high school youth and would like to participate with your youth, please let Andrea know by Monday, August 4. I’ll need to get a clear sense of how large this group may be that we might plan accordingly. My plan is to begin Sept. 6 and meet from 8 a.m. until about 9:45. If you have any questions about this, please let me know.

-Tab

Mahaneys on Parenting

Hi Parents… Just a quick note, in case you’re not aware of this. CJ and Carolyn Mahaney have been posting some very helpful, brief clips on gospel-centered parenting. Essentially, they share how they seek to apply the gospel to various aspects of their parenting. So you’ll find a clip related to discipline, one related to small children, and one related to parental sins. I’d encourage you to listen and benefit from them; they’re just a few minutes each. Here are the links:

• Gospel-Centered Parenting + Young Children
• The Gospel + Parental Sin
• The Gospel + Discipline

-Tab

Thursday Thought for Parents (7.10)

Well, here goes… We’re launching into the new book Instructing a Child’s Heart by Tedd and Margy Tripp. Don’t be put off by the word “Child’s” in the title. If you have only youth, you will certainly be well served by this book. I’d encourage you to pick up a copy and read through with me. My goal is to read a chapter a week and post a thought from each chapter, and I can already tell that I’m going to be the biggest beneficiary of this practice!

The point of the book is to call us as parents to a practice of “formative instruction.” The Tripps explain: “…God calls us to instruct our children about what to believe, how to think from the Scriptures, and how to live… Formative instruction ‘forms’ or ‘shapes’ our children. It is not a single event, but a lifetime of interaction that is based on God’s revelation” (18-19). They point out, very helpfully, that “life is a classroom” such that our children/youth are always being taught something. The only question is: to what degree are they being intentionally taught by us, their parents?

The rest of the book is going to teach us the what, why and how of formative instruction. What I want to point out is that we need to create structures in our family life to ensure that this kind of instruction takes place. I’m going to be advocating that we have specific structures (regular times, places, etc.) in which we, as parents, are intentionally discipling our youth, that ongoing formative instruction might take place.

The finest example of doing this I’m aware of is that of our friend Kenneth Maresco. If you want to listen to his practice to glean from it, just click on the 11.03.07 message entitled “Push Back – Part 2: Lead Your Child” here.

Our practice doesn’t have to be exactly the same; practices will certainly vary from family to family. But we do need to have some clear, consistent and intentional practice nonetheless (and here’s where we lead, dads – in creating those structures and actively participating in the structures we create). Maybe it’s an evening once a week when you’re taking your teen out to talk, draw out their heart, and interact in God’s word. Or, perhaps it’s certain mornings each week when you’re drawing them out and working through a book of the Bible or other helpful resources.

“Life is a classroom”… They’re always being taught something. Let’s make sure they are intentionally being taught by us!

-Tab

Thursday Thought for Parents (7.3)

Hello, parents! We’re starting a feature called, “Thursday Thought for Parents;” I hope this serves you. I can’t promise that I’ll get one up very Thursday, but I’ll do my best!

For today, I thought I’d mention that some of the first messages from our current series in the book of Hebrews could be helpful for parents and youth. The message from Hebrews 3.12-13, “Danger Within and Help from Without,” shows why fellowship between youth and parents is important. I think this message could help your youth understand the importance of pursuing you and your thoughts, counsel, correction, etc.

The message from Hebrews 4.14-5.10, “Our Great High Priest and His Very Present Help,” can encourage parents with the promise of sustaining grace. Consider listening to this message again with your parenting of youth in mind.

You can download the messages from the Resources page of our website, or you can click on the links below to listen to each message online.

• “Danger Within and Help from Without” (Heb. 3.12-13)
• “Our Great High Priest and His Very Present Help” (Heb. 4.14-5.10)

- Tab

New Calendar Page

See that black bar up there?  The one with the words “Home” and “Calendar” in it?  If you click “Calendar,” you’ll go to a page with all of the fall youth events listed.  We’ll keep that as up-to-date as possible, so visit it every now and then to find out what’s going on with our parent-youth ministry.

Andrea