Pursue Your Parents!

Two weeks ago, from Proverbs 1, we highlighted the importance not just of parents pursuing their youth (certainly that’s crucial and central), but also of youth pursuing their parents. It’s important that, as a youth, you not simply passively wait for the instruction and teaching of your parents, but that you’re actively pursuing their help as well. Below are the questions we provided to help youth (and parents) in this way. I would urge our youth to use these questions (or similar ones) to benefit from the counsel, wisdom and care of your parents on a regular basis. Thanks for being youth who love the wisdom and instruction of your parents!

QUESTIONS FOR TEENS TO ASK PARENTS

• Where do you see me growing in my relationship with the Lord?
• Based on my conversations and enthusiasm, what would you say I most passionate about? Do you think my priorities reflect Matthew 6:33 that I am seeking first the kingdom of God in my life? In what specific ways would you encourage me to make my relationship with God the highest priority in my life? How would you recommend I pursue growth in my relationship with God?
• Where do you see God at work in my life?
• Have you observed any patterns of sin in my relationships with friends, my relationship with you, or my pursuit of the world that you have been trying to bring to my attention? How well do I respond to you, when you try to bring these questions/concerns to me?
• As you observe my life, is there one particular area that you would say I need to grow in? Can you please share with me examples of where you have noticed this and also help me with a plan to change?
• On a scale of 0-10 (10 = humble and diligent, 0 = independent and defensive), how diligently and humbly do I pursue your correction and counsel? What kind of questions should I be asking and what situations would you like to see me pursuing you regarding any area in my life?
• Do you think that I value your wisdom more than my friend’s opinions? Can you share with me examples of how I am valuing my friend’s opinions too highly? Can you share with me examples of where I am appropriately valuing your wisdom more than my friends?
• Do you have any concerns for me in regards to my choice of companions? Where do you see me being influenced and where would you see me being an influencer?
• How would you describe my attitude toward your authority? In what ways have I grown in showing you and mom my respect? In what ways would you like to see growth in the area of honoring and respecting my parents, and/or other authorities in my life?
• Have I sinned against you in any way and not sought forgiveness?
• How can I grow in serving the family? Is there one person in the family (dad/mom/sibling) that I need to be more intentional with in regards to serving?

(these questions are from a youth meeting at Covenant Life Church – see http://www.covlife.org/ourlife/youth for audio resources related to the above)

On Vacation

Hey all, we’re on vacation for two weeks making memories together as a family (and giving Sung a much deserved break!), but know that we’ll be thinking of you and praying for you….

We thank God for you!

Tab and the Trainor family

Parent-Youth Structures

I want to say first, to all the parents, thanks so very much for all of your kind encouragement and support as it relates to the adjustments we’re making to our parent-youth ministry. I thought it would be helpful to clarify (and expand) on what we discussed. So here, in a nutshell, is what we’re seeking to do…

• //six 14// Meetings (for middle and high school youth and their parents): This will now be a monthly context (Saturday evenings), with the exception of months where we do a fun, relational-building time (like the fan favorite, the corn maze!). By making this a monthly context, we serve middle school youth and parents more frequently, while still providing the high school youth and parents about as many contexts as they enjoyed last year (between bi-monthly //six 14// meetings and youth care groups during the school year). We’re planning to experiment with a new element in these meetings called “community group” in which youth and parents together meet in small groups to begin to interact about the topic for the evening. This also serves to provide the parents an opportunity to observe their youth in group settings of a spiritual nature, which can aid in their discipleship of their youth.

• Age of Opportunity Meetings (for parents of middle and high school youth, though all parents are welcome to attend): These would meet roughly on a monthly basis (Saturday evenings), though not during the summer and not during months when we have a marriage event planned instead. At this time we have seven of these meetings planned for the coming ministry year, and they will have as their back-bone the fine book Age of Opportunity by Paul Tripp. In this context, parents of youth can also pursue fellowship expressly around their parenting that we might better support and care for one another.

• High School (“Growth”/”Big”/”Other”?) Meetings (for 9th to 12th graders and their parents): As I’ve considered further how we can seek to accelerate spiritual growth in our high school youth, it does seem like a supplemental, optional context (in addition to the above) could serve. This would be a monthly (Saturday morning) context with me, in which we would read and discuss some good resources, related to sound doctrine and vibrant spiritual life, and pray together to express and cultivate a passion for the Lord Jesus Christ and a love for His purposes in and through the local church. Some mini-small group times would likely also occur where we would be reciting a memory verse or catching up on how well we’re meeting our goals for the spiritual disciplines.

I think the last-mentioned high school youth and parent context does a couple of things: it provides a supplemental context for accelerated growth, and it also provides a context in which parents can observe some of the sort of discipling we would encourage them to undertake with their youth. As my good friend Mark Mullery once said to Josh and me, all parents of youth need at least three things: teaching related to parenting, fellowship related to parenting, and modeling (or experience) related to parenting. My hope is that through these contexts we can provide those three things to the parents we most love and respect the world.

As you can see, we need a name for this context. I like “High School Growth Group;” Josh likes “High School Big Group.” Got a suggestion? If so, please let me know!

It’s a great honor to seek to care for you in this way, and I’m so very grateful for each one of you!

Tab

Why a parent-youth blog?

Great question! It’s certainly not because I think I have any great insights that will benefit the wider blogosphere! I do not; I simply intend for this to be a ‘family resource’ for our church. (But do check out CJ’s blog if you haven’t yet; you’ll find it at www.sovereigngraceministries.org Recent posts include excerpts from the forthcoming book on worldliness and the chapter on modesty in particular.)

There are two basic reasons why we created this:

• A convenient means of communication with parents and youth: I don’t want to send you lots of emails, but I think it can serve to have a format like this where helpful information and updates are posted for you. You can come here to find things like application questions from a youth-parent meeting, application from a sermon for youth or parents, and announcements related to some upcoming events. That’s my intention for this: simply a helpful mode of communication, which hopefully serves you. (Which leads me to the second reason…)

• An expression of care for parents: I have a pastor friend who posts “Thursday Thoughts for Parents,” an idea that l’d like to steal and use here. I’m going to seek to make it my goal to always be reading or re-reading some helpful parenting resource, and I will seek to provide a “Thursday Thought” from that resource. I invite you to read along with me; the first book I’ll be reading through is Instructing a Child’s Heart by Tedd and Margy Tripp. By early July, I’ll start some “Thursday Thoughts” for you, in case they serve.

So, thanks for stopping by! I do hope this format serves you for that is my goal.

Tab